Wendy

Today is the first anniversary of Wendy's death.  It is sad but not depressing and it has been happier than last year.  Our daughter came to stay overnight yesterday and we visited Wendy's grave together today before going on to the hospice, where the book of remembrance was open at her name.

 

The Christmas and New Year period was also happier than last year, when there was the stress of wishing she was not about to die and yet also wanting her suffering to end.  Our daughter went out of her way to make the period pleasant for me this year and, of course, our granddaughters made it enjoyable without even trying.

Another goodbye

When I came downstairs this morning, I found my dog, Scamp, dead at the foot of the stairs as though she had been trying to come to me for help. Although she was 13, which is quite a good age for a dog, she had also been part of my life for 13 years and it was a shock. Pet loving readers, especially those who have experienced pet bereavement, will understand my grief. Other readers may think, "It's only a dog", but she had been my late wife Wendy's dog, Wendy had asked me to look after her and she had been my only companion since Wendy died in January.

Throughout my daughter's childhood when she said, "It's not fair!" as children do, I used to tell her that life itself wasn't fair. I thought that was one of the most useful lessons she could learn for life and yet I have never really accepted the lesson myself. I know only too well that many others have far greater problems than I have and perhaps that will change my perspective over time, but it doesn't help at the moment. It needn't have been quite so soon after Wendy.

Goodbye Scamp. I miss you. You were a little dog with a big character - loyal, plucky and loving and gave much joy to Wendy and me, asking for little in return. You also gave much pleasure and comfort to other patients and visitors in St. Wilfrid's Hospice during Wendy's last few weeks.

3.3.1994 - 13.5.2007

Reason for silence

I haven't posted anything for a few months because my wife was ill and then died. At times like that, one's perspective changes; personal matters become much more important than world issues like war and global warming, but life goes on and governments continue to misrule their citizens.